A way of looking at TIME / JUST DO IT.

I find that my creative time is divided into two categories:

1.) Time spent thinking (sometimes obsessing) about doing something. = SCRATCHING AROUND

Here, my internal dialogue goes something like: "It's going to be a great script / song. Hmmmm... let me see if I can bake some brownies later on tonight... I have to do a character analysis for my new project... I have to make an effort to finish reading that book... Lalalalalala..."

During those times, I feel like a hamster compelled to run on my wheel, and sadly, I never really get anywhere.

2.) Actual time spent doing (writing, laying down beats, or whatever it is that floats my boat)

I find that this period is wayyyyy shorter than scratching around. I have a love/hate relationship with deadlines. Can't live with them, and can't live without them. They get me moving and leave me with little or no sleep. They harass me out of my comfort zone and my carefully planned timetable, eradicating the slightest notion of procrastination and the battery of excuses as to why i need to sit on my ass and zen out. They force me to pick and choose my battles for the plain purpose of streamlining my efforts (a.k.a. keeping things simple).

The battle between me and my looming deadline logs as: KILL OR BE KILLED. I find it essential to slay the dragon right in the heart because it gives me satisfaction.

At the very least, deadlines push me to get things done. So yes, I secretly love them. I may bitch, moan, and complain all day, but the truth is, I find pleasure in the doing. Deep down, I am smiling beneath the scowl. Deep down inside, I'm happy with the struggle.

Personally, I feel that a perfectly fine day goes to waste without any creative output. I would go crazy if I had to sit still. And this poses another problem which I will get to sometime in the future.

But at least for now, why do I spend more time thinking than doing?

And I break my writing fast...

I suffered a terrible revision for my first script. I'm still reeling off the effects of sleepless nights and sitting down, trying to edit page after page, minute after minute of scenes which closely resemble my day job (the script, after all, is a rom-com set in the kitchen). Luckily, it was well received amongst my peers ~ writers and non-writers alike, and because of this momentum, I decided to push my screenwriting forward following my acceptance into UCLA's intermediate screenwriting program this fall.

In short, that means I will be terrible at remembering birthdays, appointments, and accomplishing things on my to-do list. It seems that I have a knack for making my already busy life even busier. Now, on to grander things.

I will be traveling a lot this September. Thanks to an early morning tip from my friend, Kari, I was able to score myself an all you can fly pass for the month. I have never really lived out of a suitcase before, and this is a great time to try out the whole deal. The only thing I'm kind of sad about is the fact that I will be missing out on yoga for the entire month. *Weeping* But, oh... all the places I will go! That alone gives me motivation.

Earlier today, I visited a Chinese herbalist for an alternative to a drug that was recently prescribed to me. PRESCRIPTION DRUGS? HELL! I HATE THEM! I hate them for the pure fact that they bog my system down with numerous side effects - all of which are printed in teeny weeny font on the drug info packet. The lady who put together my packet of herbs barely spoke any english, but she moved with skill, dexterity, and confidence as she measured and poured my 'ancient Chinese remedy' onto a piece of paper and into a vacuum sealed bag.

What exactly is in it? I HAVE NO CLUE. So if I begin to act weird or grow facial hair, I'm going to have to go back to the herbalist for a counter-cure. All I really know is that I have to make soup with the 'mystery packet'. I hope it works, whatever it is, so I can flush those loathesome pills down the drain.

On a lighter note, I've got New York on my mind and I'm glad I'm making good on my promise

to my galpals that I'll be visiting every 6 months or so. My NY peeps are awesome-amazing and they're a happy bunch to chill and have fun with. Finally! Some well-deserved r&r in the midst of chaos.

And I suddenly remember I promised to blog about my makeup class...

Exit... stage right.